Women generally demonstrate much more developed empathy. We worry about many things, we are more affectionate and susceptible to being hurt. Our hearts are not covered with iron armour or wrapped in barbed wire. Our trust is often boundless, even without a clear, rational reason. We call Hope a „mother” of fools rather than a „father” for good reasons. Maternal care breaks through from hope, but so does blind, naive faith in general good and happy endings. And this naivety pushes us into the hands of fortune-tellers, numerology, cards or horoscopes.

The horoscope prophecies are no longer there to tell us what next month or week will bring, but to assure readers that everything will be okay even if there are some minor obstacles in the foreseeable future. Our need for such assurance can be catered for by a short paragraph on the back pages of women’s magazines, on fortune-teller websites and in apps, or even in text messages from your favourite, most trusted and reliable astrologer. However, we do not want to admit that we read fortunes, not to mention our belief in these concise predictions or warnings.

That’s because we’re not accustomed to showing weakness. Uncertainty – also about the future, can bore a hole in your stomach with a drill built with molecules of stress and instability. People have long been looking for care, a sign that they are not alone while handling the future and that they will be able to tame it. When in company, we usually prefer to ridicule belief in such superstitions. At least until we are faced with financial crises, love traps and life crossroads, and then we could use some tips and a pat on the back, reassuring us that in the end everything’s going to be alright.

As far as metaphysical matters are concerned, I undoubtedly adopt the warm role of a tragic heroine. My beliefs and views feature an avalanche of contradictions that I can’t get rid of, and whose constituents together form a rather explosive mix. For instance, I believe that everything depends on us. I like having impact on my own life, I enjoy acting so that everything goes as I plan it. It does not exclude karma, which is simply worth believing in. At least I think so. If more people believed in Karma, there would be more good in the world. It doesn’t matter whether people performing good deeds would like to receive some good in return, or if they acted selflessly. Maybe the threat of such a penal boomerang would stop bad intentions, stimulating fear.

I am also an incurable and naive romantic. I believe in destiny, because I choose to believe in it. However, sometimes I push the destiny itself to the wall, checking whether it’s going the right direction. And so, when I meet someone new, I sometimes check his possible nature by comparing the characteristics of his zodiac sign. Without second thoughts I click related links and thus „make sure” whether my partner suits me, whether our signs match, whether this relationship will develop quickly, or rather will require a lot of effort and patience. It may sound funny, but the temper of the other person is quite often dependent on the day he was born. And although horoscopes and all this
„fun” with any form of fortune-telling is quite incompatible with Church teachings, horoscopes are frequently read by women who visit the Church more than regularly.

So, should we be more sensible and stop trusting horoscope prophecies, hints and warnings? Not necessarily. It is not about entrusting your life and all life decisions to the hands of the heavens, invisible energies or cardboard rectangles. But it’s good to know that every force, even the most absurd one, is the force that is right and necessary if it is able to (re)build and strengthen our mind. According to the rule – if something looks stupid but it works, it means that it’s not stupid. Even if it works only by means of placebo effect.

Finally, should we be mad at ourselves that we are gullible and naive? Absolutely not. It’s all because enormous, immense sensitivity that sometimes emotionally afflicts us so much. Don’t let them tell you that today there is no room for tenderness. That there are only divisions, barricades, hatred and bullets. That what counts is brute force and fists, war and shouting. Kaur, a poet, feminist and artist from India, writes that if you are sensitive, you are powerful. And let’s stick to this.

We are a nation whose standard of living definitely improves. And since, according to the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we meet the basic ones, we begin to think of the higher tier. We have the means required to live, now the question is: how. We are looking for answers in bookstores, where shelves are full of guidebooks on how to make every day lucky and satisfying.

Over the past few years Poles have been in awe of the Scandinavian goods. We read crimes, buy furniture and sweaters from the north. With the increase in popularity of the region, which we have ignored so far as bland and gray, many guidebooks have emerged praising the lifestyle of the modern day descendants of the Vikings. First Norwegian „hygge„, then Swedish „lagom„.

Hygge can’t be translated into any language, it means roughly the sense of cosiness, closeness and sociability. It’s finding pleasure in small things: in burning candles, baking good cake to go with a cup of coffee, an outdoor stroll. „Hygge comes from the need for simplicity, the desire to return to the basics.” It favours the abandonment of consumerism. Exchanging fast food for slow life. Shutting down the computer, turning off your phone and going out. In Scandinavia there is a law that allows anyone to use any land as long as he doesn’t do any damage. (excluding private ownership, of course) It means that you can set up a tent, start a fire and spend time surrounded by nature. There are no closed national parks, designated camping zones.

Scandinavians spend a lot of time in nature, enjoying its beauty and beneficial, sometimes even therapeutic effect. And they enjoy it very much. Hygge means being close to nature, using its goods, respecting it and treating yourself as a part of it. In the book „Fortunately Hygge”, apart from advice on how to spend your days cosily, you will also find a whole lot of interesting recipes, perfect for autumn and winter.

The Swedish response to hygge is lagom that can be translated as „not too much, not too little, just enough”. Lagom means searching for balance in everything. We work just as much as we need, we eat moderately, but enough not to feel hungry, we spend appropriate amount of time with friends.

A significant part of Swedish style is the pursuit of a state when nothing goes to waste.

We use the remains of food, we make over old clothes, paint the furniture anew. We eat healthily, we dress up functionally, we get together to clean someone’s garage. We don’t waste time nor strength. But all that effort gets rewarded. Fredagsmys – it’s a holy time for the Swedes: on Fridays they get into sweatpants, they open crisps and chill out while watching their favorite show. This evening is about complete relaxation, there’s no place for high-heels. It has to be lazy and comfortable.

If you are interested in life, not just a happy one but also long, then look for your own ikigai. Ikigai is a goal leading people through life, motivating them to be active and to develop. The Japanese know what they are talking about, after all, they have a unique town with the highest longevity rate in the world. To safely pass the 100-year life limit, you should eat well, sleep well and take care of your mental health.

You can find guidelines for these activities in the book „Ikigai. The Japanese secret of a long and happy life”. For those who are struggling with autumn blues, it may be helpful to read the chapter on logotherapy and finding the reason to live. Those who find everyday life monotonous will discover exercises to stimulate the brain and small challenges to keep it active. What is more, there are whole yoga sequences for the body and introduction to meditation for the spirit.

And what if none of these life styles fits you?

If that’s the case, I recommend „It’s going to be fine, somehow. Happiness in Polish”. Every Pole should read that charming book at least once every six months. Even to remind ourselves that we are a nation not only of insurgents, patriots and martyrs, connected by decades of martyrology. Because there is cavalryman’s flair in all of us, which is a combination of hygge and lagom, and it also can’t be properly translated into any other language. We are creative, funny, we can have fun and laugh at ourselves. We live in a paradise full of colors, magic places, unique traditions and … contradictions. Only in Poland there’s countryside that blooms all year round. Only we can be the masters of sneer. Only here there’s a city with dwarfs running around. If you feel that you are complaining too much, calm down. First of all, it is our national feature, so, you know: „Sorry, it’s just the way it is”. And secondly, there is a cure for it – a funny book that makes everyone smile.

I’m just waiting impatiently untill the trend to write guidebooks reaches the south. I look forward to the La Dolce Vita guidebook!